Five in the morning when I can’t sleep, as always wake up ravenous with a desire to binge. There’s not much in the house to binge on: nutella, peanut butter, almond milk, cottage cheese, but the image of sitting in the kitchen with the refrigerator open eating until it’s all gone is vivid in my mind all the same. I don’t know if night-eating was ever accounted for in my treatment plan. I think of devouring toothpicks to kill my appetite. I think, of using up my day’s calories before the day has begun. I feel frenzied and heated. Ready for my organs to collapse.